Gossip Girl Liveblogging 2.5

Ah, an evening of Blair and the gang, accompanied by a tofu hoagie for dinner. What's in store for this evening, I wonder?

8:01 For a moment I thought I was watching Project Runway. By the way, ever notice that Blair's mother is played by the poor man's version of Sally Field?

8:05 Mapplethorpe is the artist who "took pictures of naked guys"? I guess you could say that. Does this mean that Lily is modeled after Patti Smith?

8:06 FYI, the Yale English Department has nothing to do with admissions at Yale.

8:10 Doretta, Blair's maid, is kind of coming into her own this season. I'm hoping for a secret romance between her and Dan. That's out of your comfort zone, Danny boy.

8:14 This is not going to end well, Danny Boy. FYI.

8:15 How does Rufus know Blair?

8:20 I know they are Chuck's thing, but I've dated twins, and they're nothing special. Even once you marry them.

8:23 Poor little J. Wait, did that sign say "Constance Gillard School for Girls?" Does Jenny go to a different school or something, because whatever school they went to is as coed as they come.

8:28 Little J! What are you doing! Get back to school!

8:30 I want to take this commercial break to clear up a little misconception from last episode. It has been widely noted that Blair rejected some poor little girl because her family summered in the Adirondacks, rather than the Hamptons. This is actually a misconception on the show's part, one repeated in many other television shows about wealthy New York, like Sex in the City and Real Housewives of New York. It is true that the Hamptons is currently the most important summer spot for New Yorkers. However, to owe allegiance to the Adirondacks is actually a sign of old money, rather than the Hamptons, which unlike the Adirondacks is more forgiving of new money. Just FYI.

8:38 Oh Rufus. Poor Rufus. Little J about to be expelled, and Dan in jail. Awesome.

8:39 Are we surprised that Mr. Bass destroyed the Mapplethorpe? We are not.

8:41 I get a little tired of Shakespearean plotlines that depend upon miscommunication and misread intentions. You know? It would take Little J about five seconds to say something along the lines of, "Blair sabotaged your show, Eleanor."

8:50 Why is it that criminals in shows like Gossip Girl, like Dan's cellmates, always look like bad motorcycle villains from the 1950s?

8:52 If I were Rufus, I would send Little J to Miss Porter's. It's hard to get in trouble in Farmington.

8:56 Maybe my dissertation would be much better if I spent a night in jail. No?

9:00 Ooh, college weekend next episode! wheee!

Gossip Girl Liveblogging: 2.4

I'm late, I'm late! Getting to Gossip Girl on time is difficult these days, since I work until 7pm on Mondays, and the stupid veterinarian I work for takes forever to finish up. I've missed ten minutes; let's see if I can catch up.

8:12 What is Blair wearing?!! Did Tim Burton direct this episode?

8:15 There is something very weirdly fake about the way the characters in Gossip Girl use their cell phones to take pictures. Ever notice that? It's as if they are all discovering the camera phone feature for the first time, and are trying desperately to look nonchalant about how cool it is.

8:16: Lily, Lily, Lily. I forgot all about you.

8:17 If I wanted to leave a message for someone who had a butler, I think in real life that butler would probably take the envelope from me by hand. I don't think the butler would let me lift up a priceless crystal ashtray and use it as a paperweight for a message, and then let me go exploring in the house. Especially if the butler knew the mistress of the house was mistressing her step-son in the next room.

8:21 Such is the state of my life right now that during the commercial breaks, I am reading an article on Machaut I assigned to my students for tomorrow. It is possibly the most boring article on Machaut ever written, I am realizing. Although, as a bit of unsolicted advice for Josh Schwartz, the "Kyrie" from the Messe de Nostre Dame would work much better as a soundtrack than all this annoying emo. The music in this series has really gone downhill, don't you think?

8:27 Blair is much prettier when she is crying, no?

8:29 I am really, really looking forward to Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist.

8:32 Don't do it Vanessa! If you start confiding in Jenny, clearly it will be on Page Six tomorrow.

8:34 Serena can really be amazing some time. How is it that Dan is such a weenie?

8:35 This one's for Aimee, who is reading this liveblog but not watching. Blair speaking to her Lordly boyfriend: "Isn't it awkward juggling two women, James? Me and Catherine--or do you prefer, 'Mom.'" See what you are missing?

8:45 Wait, I didn't catch that--what did Chuck put in the martini glass? And why does Chuck carry a mysterious blue goo around with him all times?

8:47 Lily and Rufus nostalgically blurring the lines of their friendship? Dan and Serena misunderstanding each other? What next; Blair and Nate not having sex? Maybe the producers are making up for the absurdity of the Duchess story line by repeating every story line from last season.

8:54 Oh that's right Nate, you've never kept secrets from close friends in order to "help" them.

8:59 Well, that episode was a bit...tumultuous. As I often say, I prefer GG when it avoids histrionics and just enjoys the characters and the lush set dressing of the Upper East Side. Too much plot gets a tiring. Oh, and what's with the "promotional consideration" ads for music heard in the episode? Dear god. Although, as a bit of personal trivia, I went to college with the guys in MGMT.

Well, good night and good luck. I need to turn off the TV before One Tree Hill comes on. It might come as a surprise, but I do have some standards.

Gossip Girl Liveblogging: Season 2

OMFG SO EXCITED!!!!

8:03 Who's this chippy making out with Chace?

8:06 Well well well Lonely Boy indeed!

8:10 Commercial break. It's time to admit that I'm a little nervous for this season. I'm sensing...caricature. I think we all know what happened to The OC after the first season. Please don't do that to us again, Josh Schwartz. Step slowly away from the bad emo band cross-promotion, and just develop the characters. Carefully and deliberately. My favorite part of the season was the luxuriously long plateau that was Dan and Serena's relationship. But at the rate we're going now, Serena's going to die in a lesbian car crash halfway through the season.

8:15 Ugh. The repartee is dragging, isn't it.

8:20 I do have some experience with with this social set, and I can tell you that there are indeed high school boys who dress like Chuck Bass. Which is horrifying, I know.

8:28 Did Blair just say..."Mother Chucker"?

8:38 Yawn.

8:39 Wait--did I just see a black person? I think that's a first. It was an extra, but still.

8:40 Yawn.

8:50 I don't want to be too mushy, but I love Dan and Serena together.

8:51 Grandma creeps me out though.

8:53 I can't decide which is more fake about James, his British accent or his American accent.

8:58 Interesting theory on solving writer's block. Insert dissertation-writing joke here.

9:00 Okay, I'm back on the bandwagon. Slow beginning, slower middle, but it got good there at the end. Maybe there is hope for the new season.

Gossip Girl and Varèse

Apologies for not liveblogging Gossip Girl last night. I did watch intently, but was also cooking dinner (salmon and orzo) at the same time, and did not have enough hands to run over to my computer and write pithy comments. A few random thoughts:

• I'm still not satisfied with Georginia's character development. It's not enough for her just to be a psychotic stalker and nothing else. I'm concerned that when we finally learn her motivation, it's going to be stupid.
  
• The guy Serena killed/let die "would have died anyways"? Now that's a cop-out if I ever heard one. And why didn't we get to see her apologize to the family? Yet another example of how the character of Serena never really has to face any consequences for being really annoying.
  
• Still very pretty though.
  
• The gossip around Gossip Girl is nearly as good as the show.
  
• As a musicologist, I would like to point out that Rufus's music does not at all sound like it came from the 1990s. Also, has Lisa Loeb been shilling that same song for the last fifteen years? Poor thing.
  
• Why was Jenny not in this episode at all? Or gay Eric? Weird.

Sometimes I worry that my blog is not serious enough, and therefore I will never have academic employment. So here's Varèse's Poème Electronique. If you don't enjoy it, you are a bad modernist subject.

Gossip Girl Liveblogging: Episode 16

Warning for West Coast devotees: spoilers ahead.

8:59 Finally! Serena's big secret is not entirely unexpected, but it's a little dramatic. I really hope that Gossip Girl doesn't become The OC post season 1, or Friday Night Lights season 2, with the constant jumping of sharks. It used to be that television series had one jumping of the shark; Josh Schwartz has developed a narrative approach wherein an episode isn't complete without a whole school great whites flopping about.

8:54 "Serena Van der Woodsen, if you don't tell Dan, I will!" That's what I am yelling at the television right now.

8:45 I just love the actresses who play the little minions of Blair and Jenny. They are the oddest looking little creatures. Also, Eric Van der Woodsen: the Michelango Signorile of Upper East Side prep schools. I love him.

8:37 Ha, called it!

8:35 I just find the character development with Georgina a little...undercooked. It's fine for it to be a mystery, but we need some better clues as to why she is so hellbent on destroying Serena.

8:31 Worse analogy for virginity ever. I'm not even going to repeat it.

8:28 I like Michelle Trachtenberg much better with red hair. And what is with all the evil gays?

8:15 Loving the constant allusions to actual real world gossip. Especially after reading this article. Show creator Josh Schwartz planting gossip items about the actors to compliment plots on the show? Brilliant! Baudrillard would approve.

8:08 I predict that Jenny's boyfriend Asher will make a pass for little Eric. You read it here.

8:02 Did Dan and Serena ever talk about the fact that she was horrible to him last week? They just "got over it"? God I hate her. Although, she is very pretty.